Shark or Dolphin? Night One Bachelor Recap

ALEXIS

photo via ABC

Wow. Wow. What a night.

If I could have described exactly how I wanted night one to go to the producers, they would have pulled through. CRAZY.

The thirty hand-picked women arrived at the mansion to meet our Bachelor, Nick Viall. So many wore red dresses. So many had awkward first encounters.

But most importantly Nick gave his first impression rose to, Rachel, who it should be noted is a black woman. This is huge considering a black woman got the first rose rather than getting sent home:

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Where should we start? These are my 20 takeaways from night one:

    1. Nick had bleach blonde hair in high school giving serious 90’s vibes in those high school prom pictures.
    2. His little sister, Bella gave him advice. I need more of her on this show to be the voice of reason.
    3. Rachel, the lawyer, is a perfect contestant. I can’t wait for her to win this whole thing or at least be the next Bachelorette.
    4. Danielle L. owns three nail salons? I love these women with their badass careers.
    5. Josephine is awesome. So glad she got a rose. I thought she might be too quirky to get a rose the first night, but she pulled through. I want to be best friends with her.
    6. Raven, who I mentioned in my last post, had a second notable quote (beyond her shooting, mudding and reading the bible comment) by saying her hometown can be described by “”Family, faith and football because that is all we have”. Someone get this girl to a city.
    7. Danielle M. is amazing. One of my guy friends texted in our group chat that she was his top contestant. She has “wife-y” written all over her. Definitely in the running for a place in the final two.
    8. Corinne, Corinne, Corinne. You are 24 years old and proudly say that you are a multi-million dollar business owner. Do not also proudly say that you couldn’t survive without your nanny. Watching her is like watching a car crash. I fully expect her to make it to final 5 or 6, but I don’t see her getting a hometown date.
    9. Taylor brought up racism she has faced in her package. Whoa. So excited to see this show being progressive. They just need to get on the feminist train now…
    10. Christen had a painfully awkward entrance with that massive yellow fan. She was too starstruck when meeting Nick. Yikes.
    11. Sarah made me laugh when she came in the house and yelled “Oh my good there’s food.” A girl after my own heart.
    12. Taylor had a moment reminiscent of Chantal’s entrance on Brad Womack’s second season.
    13. Jasmine G. brought Neil Lane (of Bachelor fame) on her entrance which killed me. You have to love a girl who knows what she wants. Especially since those rings are always so horrible, I’m glad she is taking things into her own hands. Never trust a man.
    14. When Liz (who has made it clear that she and Nick had sex the night of Jade and Tanner’s wedding) entered she didn’t say anything but Nick clearly knew who she was. Their encounter was so uncomfortable, but I’m impressed how she spun it to be a positive?

15 . Nick later seemed hurt that she never reached out to him. Damn. DAMN.

16. Danielle M. and Nick have instant chemistry. She seems like the typical choice for a Bachelor “wife-y” however she isn’t what I expect of Nick’s choice. Interesting to see how that will play out.

17. Corinne is not doing herself any favors with that awkward kiss on night one. When Nick commented that it was forced, that doesn’t play well for her.

18. No one knows whether or not Alexis is wearing a shark or dolphin costume. Scratch that. Everyone knows she’s wearing a shark costume. She is the only one who believes it is a dolphin. Oh yeah, did I mention her career is “aspiring dolphin trainer”?

19. Rachel got the first impression rose. This is MASSIVE considering POC rarey get any visibility on this show. She and Nick are obviously clicking so I cannot wait to see her journey this season. I’m routing for her to be the next Bachelorette because she deserves better than Nick.

20. No one really notable got sent home. I didn’t know the names of any of them. They were all really mad that shark/dolphin girl got a rose over them, but I wasn’t mad.

This season had begun on a particularly ridiculous notes. Congratulations in advance to the producer and their increase in ratings *eye roll*.

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