Hitting the publish button on the first post of a silly little food blog I wanted to write, was one of the most nerve wracking ventures I’d ever pushed myself to do. It was ironic though because I’d been writing blogs for years.
I have switched urls, gone between prose and poetry styles, and switched layouts hundreds of times, but I had never shared posts with people before (besides my one dedicated fan, Isabelle). My stomach tied itself into knots at the thought of anyone reading my writing, an embarrassing thing to admit as a Journalism major.
However, a large reason I was able to get over this fear was because of my journalism classes I took during my freshman year. First semester, I had a class where our teacher put our papers (without names but with grades!!) on the overhead projector for everyone to see. It was horrifying and I was honestly pretty angry about it. It felt unfair and cruel. But as the semester went on, I slowly began to appreciate my professor. Taking the criticism anonymously made it less personal and helped my grades steadily climbed from a horrifying C- on my first article to As on my final stories. However, the grades were symbolic of how I was allowing myself to be open to criticism and allow myself to grow and be better.
It motivated me to write a blog and share posts. It motivated me to be a better student of journalism and go for bigger stories. I became confident with asking a random person on the street for an interview. I was getting better material and pushing my capabilities.
And the openness and willingness that I was developing in attitude, translated into my personal life. I was less concerned about the right thing to do among the crowd. In 2016, this usually applies to the world of social media. I started posting pictures to Instagram that captured moments and were honest rather than staged photos that I spent hours debating whether or not to post. I commented on the Instagrams of writers I loved and got replies too! I was reaching out to all these people I had admired before on not just Instagram but Twitter and Snapchat too! This had always been something that made me nervous, but it was worth it when I started to see replies! I was conversing with people I had felt a connection to through their content.
The lessons I’ve learned however are less about attitude and more about gaining the confidence to put myself out there. My peak confidence level was when I was in 7th grade and obsessed with Glee and becoming a Broadway star. Yet over time my dreams have changed and that confidence and fearlessness has become overcome by cynicism and realities of life. But I’m not really okay with that. I have missed that confidence, I once had and by putting myself out there I can feel that liquor of confidence seeping back into my veins, and I love the feeling.
So where is this all going you may ask? Well this platform is going to be shifting. I still love food, but I don’t want to only post about it anymore because it’s just an impediment in putting myself out there. There is a lot I would love to share and write about, and I want this corner of the Internet to be the place that I can do exactly that. I’m a little nervous about there, but I’m ready to put myself out there. Stay tuned for more 🙂